Copyright (c) 2008 Mary Ann Copson
When the past is present: Healing the emotional wounds that sabotage our relationships
In this book, psychotherapist David Richo explores how we play the last in our current relationships and how we can free ourselves from this destructive pattern. We all have a tendency to transfer the powerful feelings, needs, expectations and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships to people in our daily lives, whether our intimate partners, friends or acquaintances. When the past is present helps us to better understand the ways in which we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage, and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. With years…
Here’s a simple question that has arisen in the personal coaching session:
“My husband and I have been married for five years and his family still a mystery to me. I? I tried everything I know to develop closer relationships with them. I call his parents at least once a week, created by trips and dinner dates with them and invite them to our tour. All to no avail. They just don? t seem interested. I think that close family relationships are important, and I?’ve told them how much I would like to get to know them better. And yet their response to warm. Should I just give up? “
Studies show that when we feel emotionally disconnected from those with whom we are in a relationship, our emotional brain becomes active and we are moving in the flight or fight mode. This means that we will only respond in terms of defense and attack. The results are not very good for our relationship, and it throws our physiology in chaos.
Nothing affects the emotional brain, the quality of your relationship. Women are relationship-oriented – Relationships mean a lot to women. A good relationship can give you the energy and support a positive outlook. Complex relationships can wear you. Health and well-being of your relationship pulls your emotional brain, which in turn controls your physiology health.
When you are disabled, violent, emotionally or non-relationships, your moods and energy can become drained, negative, and unsustaining.
In contrast, the world of relations and connections may lead to improved health and well-being, greater vitality and a more positive mood. By almost all measures of those who are close and rewarding relationships are better than those of the turbulent relationships.
Often in relationships we want to see another side to be equal parts turning relations into something that meets our needs. But before we even get to this point there is a lot of our own inner work that can be done, and often needs to be done before we can experience the kind of relationship we want.
Mary Ann Copson is the founder of the Evenstar Mood & Energy Wellness Center for Women. With Master’s Degrees in Human Development and Psychology and Counseling, Mary Ann is a Certified Licensed Nutritionist; Certified Holistic Health Practitioner; Brain Chemistry Profile Clinician. Find your Health, Wellness and Lifestyle Personal Coach at
http://evenstaronline.com
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