Quite a lot of husbands and wives go through marital difficulties that they don’t know how to sort out. In fact there are more partners going through relationship issues that they need help fixing than there are people suffering from a lot of psychological problems that are familiar in our community today.
Marriage is an essential ingredient of a family’s life in our culture. Conflicts as well as problems that a couple face and aren’t able to resolve themselves often causes unhappiness and separation or divorce. The difficulties and misery the couple are going through does not only affect themselves in a negative way, but also their family members as well as the other people they love. By utilizing a family systems approach to marital therapy, pastors or counselors can help these couples solve their conflicts or emotional issues.
Family systems theory is also called Bowen theory. Murray Bowen, MD was a psychiatrist and the person who developed this theory of human behavior. The theory can potentially change the approach to treatment, not only within a family but also in the community as a whole.
The family systems approach is what laid the foundation for family therapy. One of the fundamental principles of family therapy is that a person’s behavior affects their family as well as the whole environment, but is also influenced by their environment. So instead of focusing on one individual person, the center of attention is shifted to the whole family. That doesn’t mean though that family systems therapy is only given to families, it can be given to just one individual person. Family systems therapy is understood by the focus of the therapy method rather than the number of clients coming to counseling. In fact most often one person that wants to change how the family dynamics work is attending counseling.
Every family has their own set of unspoken and spoken rules. These rules gradually evolve over time as the family members and their desires change.
People often carry out certain roles in their families and recurrent behavioral patterns are often found within a family. These patterns are commonly repeated in a cyclic pattern, again and again, until one of the family members is made aware of what is happening and decides he/she wishes to change and heal the relationship. For example, one of the individuals in the family may have a behavior of withdrawing when another is nagging. When one of the family members are nagging, the other person is withdrawing, this will cause the other person to keep nagging and the other person will just withdraw even more. It does not matter who started the pattern, there is no point in blaming one or the other, but when one person changes their behavior, the whole family dynamic will change.
Tina Hanson is the owner of Christian Marriage Counseling Info. To learn more about the family systems approach to marriage therapy
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